Milestones

Today, I am 16 weeks (4 months) pregnant.  This is officially the longest any pregnancy of mine has ever lasted, which is milestone #1 – and a pretty huge one to us.  I think I’ll celebrate by cleaning my house.  I finally have some energy, and my house (and husband!) has been suffering from a severe lack of attention lately. (edit  – I totally didn’t do this.  I fell asleep in the basement where it was nice and cool for about 2 hours today.  Oops.)

Milestone #2:  First “baby” purchase (from a garage sale yesterday):

I’ll be holding off on larger purchases (or pretty much anything else, unless it’s a great deal) until at least 20 weeks, because I can’t stomach the thought of having an entire nursery of stuff to deal with should anything happen.  The 20 week mark just feels a bit safer because we have an anatomy scan/ultrasound then, and should have a better idea if things look good in there.  Even better is what I like to call V-Week, aka 24 weeks (that’s when a baby is finally considered “viable” should it be delivered early, and chances of survival go up considerably each week after that).

That said, I am in the actual planning stages for all of this now…which is pretty cool.  I’ve even started a baby registry on Amazon (they have everything!), and really want to get started on organizing and cleaning the house in preparation for creating a nursery.

Speaking of the nursery – my husband wants to do a Harry Potter themed nursery, which I am totally on board with!  It will work for a girl witch or boy wizard….and I’ve been busy pinning ideas.  I’ll be sure to do a post about this as we get closer.

Milestone #3:  First belly rub by a stranger.  This happened yesterday evening at a large seafood dinner event that my husband put together for members, friends, and family of his Lodge.

Let’s talk about this for a minute.  Now, don’t get me wrong – I don’t actually mind my stomach being touched by people.  I’m not overly private, and in fact, I’m completely thrilled that I’m showing enough that people can tell I’m pregnant (another milestone! hooray!)….I also think it’s amazing that people get so excited about this, and want to share that with you.

But….if you really think about it, it’s a little weird isn’t it?  I mean, I was standing in line at the buffet for my third (yes, third) round of lobster tails, have a bit of a belly (which, let’s face it, was only there because I had gorged myself on food like it was my last meal or something), and a woman I don’t even know put her hands on my stomach and rubbed it, asking when I was due.  In truth, I thought it was sweet and only a touch creepy….but I couldn’t help but think afterwards: “what if I wasn’t pregnant?”  What if I was just some fat girl wanting to get her lobster on in peace.  Is that so wrong?

Here’s a shot of the “bump” from a few days ago. It’s a bit bigger now, due to the gluttonous consumption of lobster that occurred last night…

Wild Rose Cold Process Soap (Recipe!)

Yesterday, I decided to play around with some new  recipes for cold processed soap that didn’t call for a lot of fancy, or expensive oils.  This one pictured above was made with olive oil, coconut oil, and castor oil.  Pretty simple.

Whenever you test new recipes (or try a new hobby – if you’ve never made soap before), it’s important to start small.  Make a 1 lb batch first, to see if you like it, if it’s going to work out, etc.  Otherwise, you could end up wasting expensive ingredients, and potentially have a bit of a disaster on your hands.

The jury is still out on this one, but so far, they have solidified well and smell amazing.  The tiny bits left over on my molds even seemed to lather nicely during cleanup today….so I think we may have a decent bar of soap on our hands.  As always though, time will tell.  (these should be ready in about 4-6 weeks)

These were made with locally harvested wild rose petals and rosehips – dried thoroughly and then ground into much smaller bits, almost like powder.  If you have a coffee grinder, this helps.

For color, I used beet root powder….and because I like clay in my soaps, I also added a bit of kaolin clay to the batter.

The following recipe is for a small, 1 lb batch – if you would like to make more, please run your amounts through a lye calculator like this one.  It’s not like doubling a baking recipe!

What you’ll need:

Dedicated soapmaking tools (you can’t use these for food afterward, so set these aside just for this): hand blender (not necessary, but sooooo nice to have), large glass or heat-proof plastic measuring cups/pitchers, table spoons and tea spoons (make sure they’re aluminum free), spatula(s), whisks (again, aluminum free), large mason jar for lye/water, large glass or heat-proof plastic mixing bowl, digital food scale, laser thermometer, safety glasses, latex gloves, apron, and soap molds.

If you’ve never made soap before, stop what you’re doing and read this first.  I’m serious.  This isn’t a hobby you can just jump into – working with lye can be very dangerous, and you need to read about the safety of it first.

I know this probably seems like a lot, and it is, but once you have this you’ll be able to make soap whenever you want!

Ingredients (all measurements are by weight):

10.5 ounces  – olive oil

5.25 ounces – coconut oil

0.5 ounces – castor oil (this helps with the bubbles)

5 ounces – distilled water

2.4 ounces – Lye (sodium hydroxide)

Mix your oils together, and warm them slightly until the coconut oil is liquid.  I use the microwave in 30 second bursts.  Don’t let it get too hot, you don’t want to scorch the oils. Set aside.

Make sure you’re working in a well-ventilated area: the fumes during this next step can be strong.  For this reason, I like to mix my lye under the exhaust fan above my stove top (on, of course), with all the windows open in my house.

Also, now is the time to wear your safety glasses, gloves, apron, etc.  Lye burns are no joke.

In your large glass mason jar, measure 5 ounces of water into it.  Slowly add the lye to this mixture. NEVER add water to lye – it could explode and burn you.  Stir with an aluminum free spoon, until the mixture is clear.  This mixture will get very hot in the jar.  Don’t spill or splash it, and set it aside (labelling it is a good idea too).

A lot of people recommend letting the lye water cool to around 115 degrees, and making sure your oils are around the same temperature.  I’m a bit loose with this rule – but I’ve been soaping a while so I don’t recommend following my lead if it’s your first time.  Take the temperatures of your oils and lye periodically and wait for them to cool.  (I hate waiting, and this part can take a while)

Once your lye water and oils are around 115 degrees, it’s time to combine them.  It’s important to be careful here too – because any splashing can cause burns.

If you’re using a hand blender, put that into your oils and kind of tilt and bang it to get the air bubbles out from under the blades.  Don’t turn it on yet.  Slowly pour your lye water directly onto the shaft of your hand blender. This minimizes splashing.

Turn your hand blender to low, and pulse it a few times to begin mixing the lye and oils.  Be careful not to lift the blender out of the mixture.  If you don’t have a hand blender, you can use a whisk (aluminum free) – just be careful not to whisk too hard causing air bubbles….also, keep in mind that hand mixing will take a lot longer.  Continue to blend until your mixture reaches trace.  For this soap, I like to stop mixing at a light trace, because floral additives can sometimes really speed things up on you.

Here’s a good look at what “trace” means.

Once you’ve reached trace, your soap is ready to pour into molds.  You can add colors, additives, and fragrance at this point….or go au-naturel and have a dye free, scent free bar.  Your call.

Here’s a look at the additives I added at this point:

1 tbsp ground wild rose petals and rosehips

3/4 tbsp kaolin clay

1/2 tsp beet root powder (for pink color)

0.5 ounces fragrance (I used one called: “Rose Bouquet”)

I mixed well, and then glopped into my silicone molds (as I said, floral additives speed up trace – which means it got a lot thicker on me).  Cover with cling wrap, and insulate with towels around it.

Let these sit for at least 24-48 hours in the mold.  When you unmold them, set them somewhere dry and cool to cure for 4-6 weeks.(I use a wire rack to maximize airflow)

 

Hope is a 4 letter word.

Today I wanted to write a little bit about my complicated relationship with hope.

Hope doesn’t come easy to me anymore….but surprisingly (really surprisingly actually), it does still come.

Tomorrow, I will be 14 weeks pregnant.  I am in the second trimester. As far as I know, baby is still in there, still alive, and doing well.

As far as I know.

We had an ultrasound at our 12 week appointment.  I wasn’t prepared for that, or expecting it – but it was a nice surprise.

What we saw on the screen was shocking.  It wasn’t some random alien-looking blob like all of our other ultrasounds….this actually looked like a baby.  There was a head, body, and visible arms and legs.  And it was moving.  Really moving.

Our doctor let us watch for a while, which I’m thankful for – because I couldn’t tear my eyes away.  It was mesmerizing.

I’ve never before seen a wriggly, baby-looking thing inside me before.  The way it was moving, it looked like it was doing a backstroke (swimming) inside me.  It moved from the top of the sac to the bottom, and then back again…..seemingly happy, healthy, safe and totally alive.

That ultrasound changed something in me.  It opened the door for hope a little wider than it had been previously.  A lot wider, if I’m being honest.

Yet, with hope comes fear.  (another 4 letter word)

Being pregnant after loss is all about balance.  Learning to balance hope and fear.  Negative and Positive.  Optimism and Pessimism.  Learning to balance yourself, most of all….and I’m grateful for the practice.

Surely, this will come in handy when I finally get to raise my child.

Here’s a quick video my husband took at the ultrasound. ❤