Viability

This could quite possibly be one of the most beautiful words in the entire world to a mom who has endured pregnancy loss – or in my case, multiple losses.

Viability.

I’m completely overwhelmed at the thought of what this word means to me now.

See, I never thought I’d get here.  I don’t know how I got here, to be honest.  It’s still a shock.  As of exactly 8 minutes ago, I am 24 weeks pregnant.  Most sources state that this is the week where doctors will actually try to save my baby should I go into labour early.  This is the week that my sweet baby has a half-way decent shot at surviving outside of my body (albeit with lots of help) if it needed to.

At my last scan (around 22 weeks), baby looked good.  He/She was measuring in at about 1lb 2oz, which is right on track with the other measurements we have had.  There was consistent growth from the last scan, and the doctor was able to see *almost* everything she needed to. (Apparently my child is stubborn and uncooperative.  I wonder where that comes from?)

Every week after this, the odds for survival increase.  And while I know that there is never a guarantee (trust me – this lesson has been learned the hard and painful way) that things will work out, it’s a really great feeling to know that the odds are starting to stack up in our favour.

Finally.

It’s now about 12 minutes after midnight, and everyone but me is asleep in this house. This is a quiet time.  A time when I have no tasks or responsibilities.  A time to get lost in thought.

This is the time each day when I fully allow myself to think of nothing but baby.  I try to imagine what he or she will look like.  Will it be a girl or a boy?  I dream about its eyes….the colour of its hair. (I think we might get a redhead like hubby)  Whose nose will it get. (we’re hoping mine, lol)  What it will feel like to hold my baby, after wanting this for sooooooooo long.

I think about parenthood, and hope that I’m up to the task of being a mother – but not just any mother.  I want to be a really good mother.

I worry about not knowing anything.   Or worse, being bad at this.

And above all, I fear losing this baby too.

As I write these things, the baby is kicking my insides gently – perhaps as a reminder that everything will be ok.  Maybe it’s telling me not worry so much.  Or simply just letting me know that he/she is still in there; still alive.  As a loss mom, I need these reminders – probably more than most.

I guess I’m not the only one awake afterall.   Looks like we’re both up, celebrating this milestone together.  ❤

 

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Soap Sunday – Fizzing Bath Melts

It’s officially pumpkin spice season! (Or Fall, as others who aren’t addicted to Starbucks would say)

Today, I thought I’d share how to make my pumpkin spice fizzing bath melts. These are rich, and luxurious….like a cross between a fizzy bath bomb, and a bath oil. 

  
They melt slowly in your bath, releasing nourishing oils (cocoa butter, shea butter,  and grape seed oil) into the water and onto your skin. 

Because of the oils, these bad boys aren’t recommended for baths where you’re hoping to get clean (your hair will get greasy, so put it up). These are for relaaaaxxxing baths. Baths with wine, and candles. You know the kind. 

Oh! They can also make your tub a bit slippery, so go slow getting in and out. 

Ready to make them? Here we go. 

Ingredients:

• 1 cup baking soda
• 1/2 cup citric acid
• 1/2 cup corn starch
• 2 tbsp cocoa butter
• 1 tbsp shea butter
• 1 tsp grape seed oil (can also use olive oil)
• Skin safe dye
• 1 tsp fragrance, or a few drops of essential oils of your choice (I used fragrance called “pumpkin patch”)

Directions:

Mix dry ingredients together (careful to not breathe it in-you can use a mask, or just be gentle when mixing). 

Melt cocoa butter and shea butter in microwave safe dish. I use a glass Pyrex measuring cup.  Add grape seed oil or olive oil to the cup. Stir. 

Pour melted oils into dry ingredients, and mix slowly, but thoroughly with a spoon. The texture will eventually be like soft play dough. If using dye, add and mix with hands.  Add fragrance and mix. 

Shape into whatever shape you’d like. I made mine into pumpkins, using a small piece of cut up green soap for the stem, making grooves on top with a pencil, and adding a little gold mica for flair. 

Set onto wax paper, or a piece of cardboard to dry/set up. 

Leave to harden for at least 12-24 hours. 

Enjoy! 

You’re having a baby! I have some _____ that you can have….

Ok.  I just want to start this by stating that I LOVE second-hand baby stuff.  I think this is a great way to save money (babies are expensive!!), and I have purchased quite a few of the things I need for our baby from buy and sell sites online, garage sales, and happily taken hand-me-downs from friends/family.

That said, sometimes too much is too much.

I don’t know if this is normal or not, but when people find out you’re expecting, you may start coming home to bags of “stuff” dropped off at your front door.   Often it is stuff you can use, which is awesome….but sometimes there’s also broken stuff, smelly stuff, and stuff that’s too big for a baby (in the opposite gender, no less).

While I  know that most people mean well, being almost 6 months pregnant and having to deal with an influx of things you can’t use right away because you’ll need to store it for 4 years until your child fits into it, or worse – something that is in such bad shape that it needs to be taken straight to the dump, is not a fun time – nor does it feel very considerate to receive things like that. (especially when you’re hormonal)

Based on my experiences, I figured writing out some guidelines for giving second-hand baby stuff to your friends and loved ones might be in order.  I’m aware this may make me seem like a totally ungrateful person, but if you read on I’m hoping you’ll change your mind when you see the types of things I’ve been given, and understand why I thought a guide might help.

PS- If a whole list of guidelines is overwhelming to you,  just follow the first one.  🙂

Guideline #1:  Before you go crazy cleaning out your storage room, please ask your friend or loved one if they need what you are hoping to give them. It’s possible they already have it, or have a certain style/colour/theme in mind.  If they say no, respect their wishes – and don’t try make them feel bad about it.

Guideline #2:  Once you know that they actually want/need what you’re giving them, please MAKE SURE IT’S CLEAN.  It’s more than likely the mom or dad will clean these items again before using them, but dropping off something that smells bad, is musty or moldy, has food in it, etc. is just nasty.  True story: I was gifted a used diaper genie full of old dirty diapers (not even in a bag).  Don’t do that.

(Me: “Yay!  I’ll sanitize this, and it’ll be good to go”……Nope.)

Guideline #3:  If you’re giving items that have expiry dates (car seats, cribs, etc.), please check the dates to make sure they are still safe/legal to use.  If you don’t know when it expires, look it up.  If it’s not expired, and your friend/loved one wants it, make sure it has all of its parts.  For example, some car seats can not be used safely without their base….and cribs certainly work better if they have all the rails.

Guideline #4:  If it’s broken, ripped, or really stained – they probably don’t want it.  Trust me.  Save your friends the trouble, and throw it out yourself.   OR – If it can be fixed/cleaned, do that, and then refer back to guideline #1.

Guideline #5:  This seems like a no-brainer, but sadly it isn’t.  If you’re giving things like shoes, boots, socks, mitts, or anything else that comes in a pair…..make sure you have both items in the pair.  One shoe helps no one.  Two left shoes in different sizes is kind of funny though…..

(2 left shoes in different sizes, 4 mismatched single mitts, and 1 slipper.)

Guideline #6:  If the item is personalized with the name of your baby on it, don’t give it to someone who won’t be using that same name.  In a bag of other things,  there were some personalized bibs with my 2 year old Niece’s name on them.  As much as I love her, I won’t be naming our child after her…because that would be weird.  (especially if it’s a boy, ha ha)

Bonus Guideline:   If the new parents don’t know what they are having, don’t give them all of your old boys/girls clothes “just in case”.  If they don’t have a girl, those dresses will look pretty silly on their little boy….plus it’s just one more thing they have to clean, store, and organize.  This is a bonus guideline, because not all parents will care about whether or not they receive gendered items for their child – and some won’t mind storing things just in case.  That’s why it’s important to start at guideline 1.  When in doubt, ask.

I hope that helps.