Ok. I just want to start this by stating that I LOVE second-hand baby stuff. I think this is a great way to save money (babies are expensive!!), and I have purchased quite a few of the things I need for our baby from buy and sell sites online, garage sales, and happily taken hand-me-downs from friends/family.
That said, sometimes too much is too much.
I don’t know if this is normal or not, but when people find out you’re expecting, you may start coming home to bags of “stuff” dropped off at your front door. Often it is stuff you can use, which is awesome….but sometimes there’s also broken stuff, smelly stuff, and stuff that’s too big for a baby (in the opposite gender, no less).
While I know that most people mean well, being almost 6 months pregnant and having to deal with an influx of things you can’t use right away because you’ll need to store it for 4 years until your child fits into it, or worse – something that is in such bad shape that it needs to be taken straight to the dump, is not a fun time – nor does it feel very considerate to receive things like that. (especially when you’re hormonal)
Based on my experiences, I figured writing out some guidelines for giving second-hand baby stuff to your friends and loved ones might be in order. I’m aware this may make me seem like a totally ungrateful person, but if you read on I’m hoping you’ll change your mind when you see the types of things I’ve been given, and understand why I thought a guide might help.
PS- If a whole list of guidelines is overwhelming to you, just follow the first one. 🙂
Guideline #1: Before you go crazy cleaning out your storage room, please ask your friend or loved one if they need what you are hoping to give them. It’s possible they already have it, or have a certain style/colour/theme in mind. If they say no, respect their wishes – and don’t try make them feel bad about it.
Guideline #2: Once you know that they actually want/need what you’re giving them, please MAKE SURE IT’S CLEAN. It’s more than likely the mom or dad will clean these items again before using them, but dropping off something that smells bad, is musty or moldy, has food in it, etc. is just nasty. True story: I was gifted a used diaper genie full of old dirty diapers (not even in a bag). Don’t do that.
(Me: “Yay! I’ll sanitize this, and it’ll be good to go”……Nope.)
Guideline #3: If you’re giving items that have expiry dates (car seats, cribs, etc.), please check the dates to make sure they are still safe/legal to use. If you don’t know when it expires, look it up. If it’s not expired, and your friend/loved one wants it, make sure it has all of its parts. For example, some car seats can not be used safely without their base….and cribs certainly work better if they have all the rails.
Guideline #4: If it’s broken, ripped, or really stained – they probably don’t want it. Trust me. Save your friends the trouble, and throw it out yourself. OR – If it can be fixed/cleaned, do that, and then refer back to guideline #1.
Guideline #5: This seems like a no-brainer, but sadly it isn’t. If you’re giving things like shoes, boots, socks, mitts, or anything else that comes in a pair…..make sure you have both items in the pair. One shoe helps no one. Two left shoes in different sizes is kind of funny though…..
(2 left shoes in different sizes, 4 mismatched single mitts, and 1 slipper.)
Guideline #6: If the item is personalized with the name of your baby on it, don’t give it to someone who won’t be using that same name. In a bag of other things, there were some personalized bibs with my 2 year old Niece’s name on them. As much as I love her, I won’t be naming our child after her…because that would be weird. (especially if it’s a boy, ha ha)
Bonus Guideline: If the new parents don’t know what they are having, don’t give them all of your old boys/girls clothes “just in case”. If they don’t have a girl, those dresses will look pretty silly on their little boy….plus it’s just one more thing they have to clean, store, and organize. This is a bonus guideline, because not all parents will care about whether or not they receive gendered items for their child – and some won’t mind storing things just in case. That’s why it’s important to start at guideline 1. When in doubt, ask.
I hope that helps.
GLA:D 