Preparing for Childbirth: Why “trust your body” isn’t enough for me.

I’m 33 weeks pregnant.  I have some time to figure this out…but the planner in me wants to absorb every little piece of information that I can about labour and delivery right this second.  I suppose that’s part of my “nesting” phase everyone keeps talking about.  Who knows.

Anyway, I’ve read the book my hospital gave me, as well as the old stand-by “What to Expect”.  I’ve also been reading blogs and websites, and watching videos on youtube.  It’s been recommended that I read anything by Ina May (currently on order at my local library!), while others have suggested books on the Bradley Method, or Hypnobirthing.

Here’s where I run into trouble though.  Despite the preferred method of childbirth you are hoping for (home birth, all-natural, in hospital, c-section, etc.), a lot of the “advice” given to new mothers just seems vague and unhelpful.  Even my friends who have gone before seem to have conveniently forgotten most of the details of their births (either that, or they’re trying to spare me).

A very common piece of advice that irks me to no end, is to trust your body.  Afterall, it will, apparently, know what to do.

Maybe that’s easy for women who haven’t experienced loss, to trust their bodies. Maybe they are able to do this because their bodies haven’t failed them in the past.

But my body has failed me.  Many times.  In terrible, heartbreaking, traumatic ways.

See, I don’t trust my body.  I don’t know that it will do the right thing.  I don’t know that it “knows what to do”…..and worse, I don’t really know how to change how I feel about this.  I guess there are some lingering resentments at play here.  Fair enough.

Early in this pregnancy, I had to rely on daily (if not hourly) meditations and deep breathing exercises where I would practice calming the EFF down.  They were incredibly helpful for me.  As I passed milestones, it became easier to embrace the unknown, enjoy the moment I was in, and see this pregnancy as a totally different pregnancy – but man, was it rough in the beginning.  So, it stands to reason that those skills – meditation and deep breathing – could potentially help me through not only this anxiety I’m currently dealing with, but also during labour itself.  Worth a shot, right?

Here are some meditations and deep breathing exercises I enjoy:

How to Do Deep Breathing (Video)

Guided Meditation for Deep Relaxation (Video)

And a few new ones that look promising:

Deep Breathing for Labour (Video)

Relaxation for Labour (Video)

Hypnobirthing Meditation (Video)

I’m not set on having a specific birth plan either, which I think will help immensely.

I know that probably sounds counter-productive for a type A planner like me…..but the reason I feel that way, is because trying to plan for something that’s completely out of your control just feels like an exercise in futility.  You can try to prepare all you want (and I will, of course!) – but ultimately, what’s going to happen is going to happen.  I’ve seen a lot of women go into this with very strict ideas about how their labour/delivery will go….and then needed an emergency c-section when they wanted a home birth, or begged for drugs even though they were set on having an all-natural birth because the pain was too intense.  (and then feeling sad, disappointed, or angry at themselves afterward)

Learning to be ok with the uncertainty of it all might be the most helpful thing that I’ll be doing to prepare for my own labour, and I would recommend this to others as well.  Thankfully, I have already begun to learn this skill (it’s most certainly a skill – this mindset doesn’t come naturally to me) through my journey with loss and infertility, and it’s served me well so far.  I’ll try to remember to reflect back on that as I get closer and feel even more afraid.

Here are some tips to help you “let go” if you think this might help you:

Feel the Fear and Birth Anyway!

Letting go of Control

Pain is not Wrong – Radical Acceptance

10 Reasons Birth Plans are Stupid

I’m also incredibly lucky, and super thankful that I trust my doctor and nursing team at the hospital I’ll be delivering at.  Working as a nurse in the past has given me a huge amount of respect and understanding for why they do what they do, and an idea about how things might go.   I think a lot of our fears come from the unknown – especially when it comes to labour/delivery.  For me, at least, this part is known.  If you don’t have this experience, the fear of the unknown might be huge for you.  Book yourself a tour of the place you’ll be birthing in.  Ask questions of friends and relatives about their experiences.  I’d also recommend reading about labour and delivery to help.

Here’s some good posts:

New Moms Describe What Labour is Really Like (don’t forget to read the comments!)

How to Prepare for Birth – 8 tips from a Doula

What Happens During Labour and Birth

Common Interventions During Labour & Delivery

 

 

 

 

Soap Sunday – Fizzing Bath Melts

It’s officially pumpkin spice season! (Or Fall, as others who aren’t addicted to Starbucks would say)

Today, I thought I’d share how to make my pumpkin spice fizzing bath melts. These are rich, and luxurious….like a cross between a fizzy bath bomb, and a bath oil. 

  
They melt slowly in your bath, releasing nourishing oils (cocoa butter, shea butter,  and grape seed oil) into the water and onto your skin. 

Because of the oils, these bad boys aren’t recommended for baths where you’re hoping to get clean (your hair will get greasy, so put it up). These are for relaaaaxxxing baths. Baths with wine, and candles. You know the kind. 

Oh! They can also make your tub a bit slippery, so go slow getting in and out. 

Ready to make them? Here we go. 

Ingredients:

• 1 cup baking soda
• 1/2 cup citric acid
• 1/2 cup corn starch
• 2 tbsp cocoa butter
• 1 tbsp shea butter
• 1 tsp grape seed oil (can also use olive oil)
• Skin safe dye
• 1 tsp fragrance, or a few drops of essential oils of your choice (I used fragrance called “pumpkin patch”)

Directions:

Mix dry ingredients together (careful to not breathe it in-you can use a mask, or just be gentle when mixing). 

Melt cocoa butter and shea butter in microwave safe dish. I use a glass Pyrex measuring cup.  Add grape seed oil or olive oil to the cup. Stir. 

Pour melted oils into dry ingredients, and mix slowly, but thoroughly with a spoon. The texture will eventually be like soft play dough. If using dye, add and mix with hands.  Add fragrance and mix. 

Shape into whatever shape you’d like. I made mine into pumpkins, using a small piece of cut up green soap for the stem, making grooves on top with a pencil, and adding a little gold mica for flair. 

Set onto wax paper, or a piece of cardboard to dry/set up. 

Leave to harden for at least 12-24 hours. 

Enjoy! 

Soap Sunday – Oatmeal, Goats Milk & Honey (Cold Process)

When you make soap from scratch, some ingredients are harder to work with than others. Milk (of any kind) can be one of those ingredients.

The benefits of having milk in your soap definitely outweigh the temperamental qualities it has, though….and here are just some:

• The PH level of (most) milk is really close to our skin’s natural PH levels, making milk soaps super gentle and nourishing
• Milk has naturally occurring lactic acid, which helps with gentle exfoliation of dead, dry skin cells
• The fats in milk (especially goats milk) are also luxuriously moisturizing for the skin

Of all the things that can happen when you use milk in your soap batter, overheating (because of the natural sugars) is probably the most common, and annoying.

When soap overheats….it ain’t pretty.  It can crack the top of your soap (mildly annoying), or even sometimes completely erupt into what so many people in the soap making world call a “soap volcano”.

Even if you don’t have a volcano, scorched/burnt milk can happen if your soap overheats.  The smell of scorched milk in your soap has been described as an ammonia-like smell, and your soap will get very dark in colour.  It’s still useable, but not as pretty or nice smelling.

A lot of soapers will take steps to reduce the chance of this happening, by using milk that has been frozen into ice cubes, and adding their lye to that.  I just added powdered goats milk to my soap batter after I already mixed the lye and water. (Using fresh milk is much harder-you need to be more careful)

Because I’m loving the movie-making app on my phone, I made another little video of the process. If you don’t already make soap, this won’t really teach you how to do it…..but will give you a behind-the-scenes look at how it was made.

Enjoy!

Soap Sunday – Lavender Lemon (video)

 I keep getting later and later with my posts. (Oops!) It’s still not a habit for me to write blog posts regularly, but I’ll try to do better. 

This week’s soap is Lavender-Lemon. It smells amazing, and has lemon yellow soap curls embedded in a clear purple olive oil base. I’m really liking the way it looks, and am already thinking of new colour/scent combos to try!

For fun, I made a video of (most of) the steps involved in making it for all of you who are curious. The steps I left out aren’t because they’re secret….its just because I’m forgetful. 😉

Enjoy! 

Tasty Tuesday (ok, Thursday) – Lasagna Soup

Here in Canada, winter can last FOREVER. Case in point, I’m pretty sure my local(ish) groundhog “conveniently” died before she could predict how much longer winter would last because she knew the answer, and just couldn’t bear to tell us.

Anyway – at my workplace, we have come up with a way to beat the winter blues.  We call it the “weekly winter warm-up”. (someone loves alliteration.  ok, yeah -that was me)

Each week one member of the group cooks a hot lunch for all the participants.  We all eat together, and not only is it awesome to have a homemade hot lunch once a week, it’s also really nice to have some down-time with my coworkers.

I find that sharing a meal can really boost morale, and increase bonds. Others must feel the same, because we have a really good turn out every week.  The best part:  you only have to cook once, but you get to enjoy a LOT of meals all through the winter. 🙂

It’s my turn to cook tomorrow, and I’ve been drooling over this recipe I found on Pinterest, so I decided to adapt it to make it my own.

It’s seriously delicious.  And easy too.

Here’s what you need (serves at least 10, so cut back if you need to):

• 2 tsp. olive oil
• 1/2 lb Italian sausage (use hot if you like that)
• 1 lb lean ground beef
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 4 cloves of garlic, minced
• 1 tsp. dried oregano
• 1 tsp. dried basil leaves
• 1 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes
• 1/2 tsp. dried chili pepper flakes
• 1 small can of tomato paste
• 2  28-oz. cans of diced tomatoes
• 2 bay leaves
• 10 cups chicken stock
• 1 1/2 cups fresh spinach, chopped
• Box of fusilli or farfalle (little bows) pasta

Topping

• 8 oz. container of ricotta or cottage cheese
• 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 1/2 cup fresh basil leaves, finely chopped
• salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste

Directions:

Heat olive oil in a deep enough pot for your soup – at medium heat. Add onions, sausage, and ground beef – making sure to break up the sausage a bit (I remove the skins to make this easier – or just use ground sausage meat), cooking until meat is browned. Drain the grease if there is a lot.  There was for me.

Add garlic, oregano, basil and your pepper flakes, cooking for another few minutes.  Add tomato paste and stir that into your meat mixture.  Cook a few minutes, stirring.

Pour diced tomatoes (and all of the liquid), the bay leaves, and the chicken stock into your pot. Stir together, and bring just to a boil.  Throw in your chopped spinach if you’re using that.  I thought it needed some green, so I did.  Reduce heat, cover your pot and simmer for 30 (or more) minutes.

I chose to cook my noodles separately, in another pot.  If cooked right in your soup, you run the risk of having mushy overcooked noodles – especially if there are any leftovers.

Cook noodles according to package directions, until al dente.

When the soup is ready, remove the bay leaves.  Add the noodles to each bowl before ladling the soup over them. Top with a dollop of ricotta or cottage cheese, a sprinkling of parmesan, and some fresh basil.

Season to taste with salt and pepper, and proceed to eat every last bite/drop.